Finding Myself
by Tiamat Drache
Summary: Marcus Flint is more than merely the captain of the Slytherin quidditch team. This half-orc has feelings and aspirations beyond just being the bad boy from detention. Read on and learn the basics of what it's like to rub elbows vwith a very conflicted teenager.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Marcus Flint *sigh* or any of the characters in this fic except Chantrelle Drache, Anne O'Hara, and Chasity Skoldagger.

"Marcusss?"

I looked up from my steak. Looked at my father, the orc. He looked back at me, his eyeridges set in an expression of worry.

"Yes, father?" I asked.

"Is anything the matter?"

Was anything the matter? How could he ask me that? Yes, there was bloody "something the matter." Of course there was fucking something the matter.

How could he ask me that with the remains of his steak running down his scaled muzzle? Blood and gristle decorated his talons, and even his speech was flawed.

I looked back at my steak. Blood pooled in one corner of the plate, and I felt my stomach growl. No, I wasn't going to do this anymore.

"Could I put this in the microwave?" I asked. I wasn't sure the Muggle contraption could be used on meat, having only tried it on the few vegetables I needed to sustain my human side.

"I sssuppossse..." he replied, his tail moving in deliberate patterns on the floor. His back spines rustled as he raised them in a reptilian expression of surprise, but I could also hear the slightest clicking sound coming from him. He was clicking his teeth at me? He was amused? Well bully for him.

Moments later he held me as I vomited into the kitchen sink. When I was done, he just looked at me for a second as I wiped my mouth. Then he spoke.

"You have to do it gradually." he said, "If you want, you can eventually train your sssystem to acccept cooked meat. Jussst keep it ssslow."

I said nothing as I rinsed out the sink, but he didn't leave the room.

"Why the sssudden effort?" he asked.

"Well," I began, thinking back to before I had come home for the summer holidays. The setting was Hogwarts, in the dining hall.

Chantrelle Drache... She was a Slytherin, like me, but she chose not to sit at our table because of her two Gryffindor comrades: Anne O' Hara and Chasity Skoldagger. She was a third year, a year my junior.

She was looking at me. Looking at me with an expression that said she might want to smile. But then her gaze fell to my plate, and she froze.

I looked down. There was my customary leg of lamb on my plate; everyone except the Vegans was having it. But mine was raw. I immediately turned crimson as she kept her eyes fixed on my food. It wasn't until Anne noticed and elbowed her in the ribs that she turned away...

"Ssso you want to change your eating habitsss becaussse of sssome girl?"

I blushed.

"You ssshouldn't wasste your time on sssomeone who cannot acccept you for who you are."

"It's not just Chantrelle." I protested, "I want to try to be more human. I want to fit in."

"You do fit in. What about Pucccey and Higgssss?"

"Da, I want girls to like me, dammit!"

He blinked, his lips coming up off his teeth ever so slightly. I knew he was annoyed, but I didn't care. It was hell being half orc! No girl in her right mind would kiss me, not if she'd seen my teeth first. Most of them wouldn't willingly touch me. Not sexually and not casually.

Of course maybe my reputation had something to do with it. As Slytherin's quidditch captain, I had a reputation to maintain. I made sure that my defense was brutal, and my offense was unstoppable. If my opponents got a little bloody in the process, well, so be it.

Meanwhile, my father was speaking.

"I myssself remember what it wasss like before I dissscovered your mother. I wass consssidered too human to attract femaless of my own sspecccciess and too much of an orc for anyone else."

He paused and looked at me.

"You, at leasst, look human. I have no doubt that sssome girl will find you quite attractive sssomeday. Perhapss one already doess."

And with that bit of encouragement, he returned to his dinner.

I stormed up to my room. He was wrong. I'd be alone for the rest of my life because I was a halfbreed.

Thud, Thud, Thud

They were at it again. I had to admit: I was impressed. After over a decade of marriage to one another, the spark that had started the Flint family was still going. Hell, it was a bloomin' forest fire.

Still, you'd think the house would have thicker walls, I mean, how was I supposed to stay asleep? And as if that wasn't enough of a problem, my teenage hormones were making a nuisance of themselves.

I sat up in bed and looked towards my feet. Ravage, my demi-raptor familiar was still gamely asleep at the foot of my bed. His side rose and fell steadily, and I resolved not to wake him. Oh well. Both the spirit and the flesh was willing in this case.

I freed my aching cock from the confines of my clothing, running my hand slowly up and down its turgid length. I removed my shirt with my free hand and tried to get an image in mind. My left hand stoked the slightly scaled hide of my abdomen, and I moaned, low and forcefully.

The first image that came to me was that of my parents. I felt absolutely no shame in this. there were both still fairly young, and my mother was something of a knockout. Besides, I was curious as well as horny. I had often wondered what my father looked like when he was involved in the business of shagging, but so far I had never summoned the courage to spy on them. I doubted they used the missionary position.

Chantrelle...

Ah, Chantrelle. Chantrelle of the copper skin and flowing brown hair. Chantrelle of the full red lips and the curving figure. Chantrelle of the bouncing breasts and the flirtation arse. Chantrelle, the girl of my dreams.

I imagined her glancing shyly at me in the hall. I imagined her husky voice whispering in my ear. I imagined her smiling at me... I imagined her *touching* me.

The cool press of her palm against mine, the crushing embrace of a hug, the sensational pleasure of stolen kisses in between classes, the fiery passion of making out in an empty room, the burning anticipation of being poised at her entrance. Fuck, the ecstasy of sliding into searing, velvety depths...

I cried out as I surrendered myself to orgasm. My body convulsed as my cock shot long strings of cum against my hand, making me bare my teeth in pleasure. After a final stroke, I got up and went to shower. It was seven in the morning anyway.

When I went down to breakfast, Higgs and Pucey, my best buds, were already there. Mum had already set a cooked version of our meal in front of them, and I grabbed my own plate from the counter.

"So, what'd you blokes want to do today?" I asked, shoving a strip of bacon into my mouth.

Terence shrugged, "Dunno." he said.

"S'why we came over." Adrian added.

"Well, we'll go to the 'Plex after this." I said.

"You'll need this then." my mother said, coming up from the study. She threw my wallet on the table, and it clinked impressively. I knew without looking that she'd included enough for Adrian and Terence. Just one of the many benefits of being filthy rich. Father was, after all, chief ambassador to the humans. He took in enough to enable us to live on five acres and make Mum's job superficial. It was a great life. .

"Thanks, Mum."

"Sure, dear. I'm off to work. Tell your father to tell Sikes to make sure the gnomes aren't into the roses again."

"Sure thing, Mum."

"Hey look! There's Snape!"

I frowned. Sure enough, our Potions Master was just leaving Waldenbooks. He looked different in Muggle clothes... And for some reason, he was loaded down with shopping bags. The reason for this soon became evident. Anne and Chasity appeared, followed by *gasp* Chantrelle. After deliberating with Snape for a few minutes, the three headed for the food court.

"Wanna follow 'em?" Higgs asked, grinning. I sighed.

"Telling you about fancyin' Chantrelle was a mistake wasn't it?"

"Yep." Adrian answered for him.

"Why not?" I shrugged.

Later I sat watching Chantrelle talk to Anne. I wasn't *staring* of course, just stealing sly glances in between bites of my bean and cheese burrito. I had forgotten that most of the food court's options were meat-laden. I didn't want a repeat of yesterday, so I had opted for Mexican.

"You know," Higgs began, "Anne's kinda cute."

I laughed. "A bit tall for you, don't you think?"

That was something of an understatement. Anne was tall, to put it simply. She was all of 5' 11", tall even for a guy. She was a knockout blonde though; I'll give her that.

"Actually, if Chasity wasn't such a prude, I'd probably be sitting at their table right now." I admitted. Chasity's elder brother, Zeke, had been present during a few of my more creative pranks. As a result, he had warned Chasity against me. I once tried to smile at her. She had nearly taken my head off.

"Hey," Pucey said, "Chantrelle's not a Vegan..."

I looked. Sure enough, there was a small cheeseburger in front of her.

"But why'd she react so negatively last time she saw me eat?" I wondered. I just couldn't figure it out.

"Beats me." Adrian admitted, shrugging, "Did you actually look at what was on her plate?"

I shook my head. "Well, no..."

"So maybe you're just bein' paranoid."

"Maybe..."

He's everything you want He's everything you need He's everything inside of you That you wish you could be He says all the right things At exactly the right time But he means nothing to you And you don't know why

"Shit, they're gone!" Higgs realized. Sure enough, their table was empty.

I am everything you want I am everything you need I am everything inside of you That you wish you could be I say all the right things At exactly the right time But I mean nothing to you And I don't know why

"Ah, well," I sighed, "Who's up for swimming at my place?"

The lake was refreshingly chilly, and I swam a couple of laps to warm up. Higgs was fooling with the control module father had built into the spreading oak that grew in the "pool room." As far as I knew, my family was the only one with a lake in their house.

Actually the lake was part of a greenhouse-like setup that housed an orcish swamp. Father had all the delights of his homeland here... and some extras he'd added himself. Like the fireflies that came out at night and the colony of tree frogs. It was his place of relaxation, of reminiscence...

And our favorite swimming hole.

I gasped as something suddenly dragged me under the surface of the water. It didn't take me look to realize who it was, and I slugged Pucey in the arm when I got back to the surface. Higgs finally quit screwing around with the oak and joined us. We sat in the shallows, staring up at the transparent roof.

"So whatcha gonna do about Chantrelle?"

I sighed, knowing Adrian wouldn't leave this alone.

"I dunno." I said, "I just don't think I have a chance."

"Why? Because you're half orc? Flint, I don't know if you've noticed, but most blokes are half something these days."

"Yeah, but their teeth aren't all crooked, and they don't have...what I have."

"You mean your scales?"

Before I could react, his hand was at my stomach, tracing the scaled pattern of my hide. I shivered as it began to have its usual effect on me, and he continued.

"Higgs and I don't have a problem with this. In fact, the only one who seems to have a problem is you yourself."

Later, I sat on my bed in my room, oiling Ravage's scales. He chirred in pleasure and rubbed the side of his muzzle against my hand when I was done. I smiled at him, careful not to show teeth, and he hopped off the side of the bed. He was headed for the kitchen.

I got up, bottle of oil still in my hand, and walked over to the mirror in the corner. I could just barely make out the subtle pattern on my still shirtless abdomen by the light of the moon. I sighed, looking up at is pale face. Why did it remind me of Chantrelle?

My free hand massaged the residue into my own scales as I reached into the trunk my the side of the mirror. I pulled out a few magazines, trusting my luck to give me what I needed. It was good.

My father had given these to me quite a while ago, when I'd first started to question him about the strange urges in my body. He'd explained the basics to me, and he'd later given me these. The collection had grown over the years, true, but I never got tired of looking at the originals.

There was straight porn and gay porn, lezzie porn and threesome action. There was even a couple of zoo magazines.

I slipped completely out of my trousers and freed my cock from the confines of my boxers, already half hard with anticipation. Seizing my cock, I flipped open the first magazine I came to. It was a straight one. Goody.

A man buried his face in this partner's snatch, obviously engrossed in his task. I sighed. That was something I'd probably never get the chance to do. The next page showed the same couple as they 69'd each other. Fascinating.

I teased the head of my cock as I picked up another 'zine. I paused. It was a twink magazine: one I'd never touched before this moment. I know my father'd given it to me because he'd wanted to know my orientation. Problem was, I wasn't a hundred percent sure about it m'self.

Now I stroked myself as I looked at the first picture. A blonde guy was on his knees giving head to a muscular brunette. The sight made me swallow a bit harder than I would have otherwise.

*Why not?* I asked myself, *After all, neither Pucey nor Higgs has a problem with my appearance. Girls, on the other hand, apparently do.*

I flipped though more and more pages, gradually becoming more aroused with every new image. I moaned in pleasure, my hand a blur on my cock.

Somehow, it didn't seem possible. Was Marcus Flint, Slytherin Chaser and team captain straddling the fence? Could I really be bisexual?

My body convulsed as I shot stream after stream of cum onto my hand, some of it landing on the magazine itself. I panted, still basking in the afterglow. Had I just answered my own question? I stared blankly at the magazine for a moment before putting it and the others away. This done, I brought my hand up to my mouth and touched the tip of my tongue to it before licking it clean. Had I really answered my own question?

It appeared I had.


End file.
